Much big wind yesterday sent us all packing at 4pm when they closed our office. Power was out in swaths all over the county with powerlines and treelimbs everywhere. I was happiest when we all got home safe and, miracle of miracles, we had power.
Power. But. No. Cable.
We were home safe and the computers were quite stable, but I found that I am more android than I had thought, this software requiring the connection to the 'Net in order to feel stable.
I've got 'Net here at work, which is comforting, but I'm wary about returning home tonight, nervous that I won't be able to shed the discomfort enough to continue writing... literally without a 'Net.
Never much realized/thought about how my connection with the 'Net was so thick with dependencies. It was as if I had shrunk from my normal size to that of a small walnut, which for Hamlet may have made him feel as if he was king of infinite space, but for me was isolating and a bit fearsome.
Distraction. It's just a distraction covered over a fear that I haven't addressed.
That's been the wonder of writing this month, literally using meditation to write - writing as meditation, meditation as writing. I never realized how much people who meditate struggle as they meditate, and how it is the Doing that makes meditation and in my case writing.
I'm past the halfway mark on NaNo and a bit behind on wordcount, but it still feels possible, making it to the finish line. I think if I can just keep that focus whether or not I have 'Net tonight, I'll do just fine.