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I've been listening to some Pinoy hiphop my hubby found on SoundClick recently and I've been slowly reacquainting myself to Tagalog. At least, what little tagalog I absorbed as a child.

My new favorite word: astig

Astig ako!

The song I heard is A.S.T.I.G and the artist says he wrote it for a group called Awareness in Spiritual Things to Institute Godliness. I think it's a group associated with the Methodist's Bible Reader's Society, but I also sense diwa within its energy.

A few years back I got into LOTR TCG a trading card game based on the Lord of the Rings. Like many games designed to keep collectors and gamers happy (and buying product) for as long as possible, there have been many expansions on the original game and one expansion included a card called Fierce - it made any big, bad monster, bigger, badder and harder to get rid of. Fierce was a good thing. They even gave out temporary tattoos with the Fierce logo. I have several.

I want a tattoo now that says ASTIG.

Unpacking all the 'stuff' I have about being pinay and embracing my heritage has been a winding journey of discovery. How does one balance all the aspects of being a US born Filipino while recognizing the inherent difficulties of possessing the myths and mindsets of colonized and colonizer?

Part of the answer has come from reading Leny Strobel's Book of Her Own and allowing my mind to embrace the difficult task of decolonization. Part has been exploring and expressing my new found understanding of babaylan, a path that has no ending, no destination, but more an engrainment and engagement of what I have already experienced. Part has come from trying to understand John Paul II's take on phenomenology. Part has been my own approach to decolonizing Christianity, as well as learning about bonding and boundary making.

The changes this process has created have been difficult to manage and I've often thought I'd give it all up just to have a bit of peace. But the draw is too strong, the diwata, the Spirit, the Red Path, all encompassing that I cannot turn away for long.


:To be drawn by change
:To embrace heritage
:To move with intent
:To live diwa
:To be the created Self
:To bond with others
:To establish health boundaries

The mosaic is becoming strong with intent.

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