A glass of chivas to OB for providing the wake up words I /really/ needed today.
OB: "i know its horrible to only write for a feature. ive been told that real writers will put to pen religously every day and have these set patterns where they will and must produce some work for X numbers of minutes Y times during the day."
*glances at her writing log*
OB: "i have not read all of eliot's work and couldnt tell ya the difference between (john) donne & (stephen) dunn but im learning."
*glances at her stacks and shelves of books*
OB: "and one of the things that ive learned is that your process is just as unique as your writing style and the minute someone tries to warp your process to match what they feel your process should be... RUN! DONT WALK!.... get da fuk outta der!"
*glances askance at her critical self* /See/! I shout /There is another way!/
OB: "me, i work best under the pressure of a deadline. for the most part, i dont write the poems until the 11th hour but i do know that i am thinking about them."
*rattling the bars of her self-inflicted cage* Yes! I see freedom!
'Cause here's the thing, I've been imposing the pressures of 'deadlines' (ie. submission dates) to create the energy to write. How truly kfkd is /that/?
Okee...so here's what OB has taught me today. My process is my process. I know what to write and I know how to write it. I /can't/ write right now because of all these perceived pressures from journals, from readers, from myself. My relationship to my art and my creativity is /really/ messed up right now, it may take months to get it back on track.
And That's Okay.
Because when I do get back on track, it will be real-me writing.