8/04/2005

Personas

Recentely Ernesto wrote Currently Posting As and said "Even though I sign in this blog with my real name, this "me", this "I" (as the Chatelaine says, this "Moi") is a persona that only exists on-line, and the similarities with the real person facing the screen are only coincidental."

*eyes wide in sudden comprehension*

This blog (BWT) is a persona, one persona of many I have had/worked on/evolved. Ten years ago, you would have met a 15th century noblewoman named Wynefrid who followed a Duke and Duchess around in the SCA. Or perhaps you would have met a member of MC3 as they jumped a Beltane fire. Two years ago you may have met a tailor in a city called Vodzhya who was in love with a Prince.

*chuckle*

This blog has become a persona of a writer-mom with incredible drive and ambition. It would be easy to maintain that artifice, except that once the curtain has been pulled aside, it's hard for the wizard to maintain the illusion, even if that illusion was just for herself. I've been ambitious to the point of torquing myself into knots and not cool creative knots, but tight, unmovable knots. And I've realized that no matter how many new resources I look for, no matter how many new connections I make, they are all tools, but /not/ the work itself.

I've lost track of the central, the inner point, the seventh/first path to the self. The Six Directions can give guidance, new ideas, experience, but until those things are taken to the Center, they are meaningless.

Personas are nice to get all dressed up in, but once in while, most of a while, its good to just Be.

To Fly. To Soar. To Love. To Be.

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